So . . . I may have accidentally killed some people...

It isn't what you think - they probably deserved it.

I was chillaxing in my dining room earlier,



...when all of a sudden I hear this hideous scraping sound, like a key going over piano wires, coming from the entrance hall. Readying my vast array of offensive magics, I go into the hallway, and what do I find? A terrible monster? Some awful being from the 17th dimension? A venegeful spirit sent to wreak havoc on me and avenge whoever I murdered?

No.


There's just a fat, blue box. -_-



I instantly set it on fire, but that had no effect :( zapping it with a barrage of lightning also did nothing.



I even used Poseidon's my trusty Trident, but that also failed to destroy the blue box.



Eventually, and rather resentfully, I tried knocking on the door and after a second or two, it opened.



Inside the box was a large room - way bigger than the box currently in my home, but this didn't surprise me, (I mess around with dimensions, portals and  alternate realities far too much) what did were the two people inside, at the central console.



They looked like they were suffering from a hideously disfiguring disease, but when I asked them what was wrong with them, they replied they were "k thnx". I introduced myself as the Mistress of All Evil, and demanded that they bow before me, however the only response I got was one of them telling me he was a doctor.

Now, I'm not one to resist temptation, (hence my love of apples) so I began thinking of ways to test this guy's abilities as a doctor. Fortunately for me, his friend seemed quite the dullard - it wasn't hard to enthrall him at all.



I busted into his mind like the cops on a raid, and shoved his spirit into a cage before he even realised I was there. Once I had total control of the body, I made him start messing around with the central controls. Pushing random buttons didn't seem to do anything, but it looked like it was a hastily assembled piece of crap anyway, so I decided it'd be easier to just start ripping bits of it off.

It wasn't long before the doctor fellow noticed his friend pulling apart the control panel. Needless to say, he was a bit confused as to why his companion was behaving so oddly, and took it upon himself to make the poor noob stop. While the one in charge struggled with his friend, I took a look around the room. I have to say, it was quite a charming piece of machinery, clearly not from the usual world, but quaint nonetheless. I particularly liked the wires and cables everywhere - it was as if someone had taken every electrical hazard known to man, and built a room out of them ^_^



When I asked the doctor guy what the room inside the box was called, my suspicions he had some sort of illness and/or mental problems were sadly confirmed. The guy referred to it as a ship, and called it a TARDIS. I was also told that he was an alien from a planet far far away, and that he could travel through time and space inside this 'ship'. Everybody knows that time travel is impossible without the aid of the supernatural, so of course I didn't believe him, and made a mental note to put him out of his misery as soon as I was done messing with his friend. Speaking of his friend, the poor fellow was just reaching inside the control panel at this point, when there was a loud bang, and he flew accross the room.

"I thought I was the only one who could fly? :D!" I exclaimed as he went, happy to find another person with powers for me to absorb.



However his landing was atrocious and he went headfirst into the wall with a loud snapping sound, after which he promptly fell in a heap on the floor. At this point the so called 'doctor' started panicking - which I found highly unprofessional. To be honest, he didn't even try to save his companion and just ran around the console screaming "OMG!!!!1!1!" over and over again.



I advanced on the still form of his companion - who I could tell was clearly dead, as there was now no spirit whining in the cage I had made inside his mind. Oh, and his head was gently smoking with a pinky grey mush dribbling out of his nose and ears. Never one to miss an opportunity to collect ingredients for my arcane recipies, I summoned a knife and got to work removing his toes and ears for later rituals. When the now highly suspect "doctor" finally stopped running around and flailing, he became outraged for some reason, and demanded I get out of his spaceship.



I have a problem with authority.

Let's just say . . .  one thing led to another, and the situation resolved itself when his face melted. After I forced it up against the core of the central console.



HANDY TIP: Always make sure to clean your TARDIS' central fan or overheating can occur, allowing accidents like this to happen.



So . . . . now I don't really know what to do. I've never been good at disposing of evidence. I'm on my laptop in the dining room, typing this right now in the hope I'll have an epiphany...



I can smell the acrid stench of their burning flesh through the doors of the TARDIS -  maybe I should try and replicate it and mass-produce it for sale as a perfume? I know I'd wear it, it's rather intoxicating ^_^

I'll have a little think, and see what I can come up with. Will let you know how I get on.

Ciao maggots! ^_^